Problem!

Hello

I wei? not what I do!

It is quite tricky.
I can not tell what exactly the f?r a gef?hl describing I w?rde it now as desire.
I long at any time after a Jungen(er_ist_11_ich_17). I think only then to him when I just good areas me, talk with others. When I go in the K?che drink me what hole or mioch shortly with some besch?ftige my thoughts wander immediately to him. I have the gef?hl if he is not "here", then I might not gl?cklich. I am experiencing Gl?ck only when I talk to him or it is enough to write alone the thought that he was thinking of me makes me already happy with him. But I have no sexual desire after him, I long for his person.
I should say vll, I don't think I'm gay, because this guy is an absolute exception and I find grunds?tzlich attractive women.

From us what is never, especially in the n?chsten 7 years!
I prefer forgotten w?rde the whole out because I can create world that none of my friends erz?hlen, I respond w?sste aren't like that.
What should I do?
I can him badly erz?hlen, what the f?r is a gef?hl f?r I him... as said he is 11 and probably not quite understand this!

I hope your k?nnt give me any advice how I should handle this situation!
I am grateful f?r any meaningful response.

Gru? Philipp